Confessions of a Sacred Heart

I often wondered what was going through Jasmine’s mind when my mother walked into her store and gave her that card. My mom said, “she looked like Aerial the wide-eyed mermaid”. I smiled because I know that look.  I’ve caused that look to happen myself. Sometimes I even wondered if she dyed her hair fiery red just for me. It seems like she did it right after she got really pissed off by my stealthy twitter stalker poetry verses. After thinking about it, I decided to go ahead and share the inner story of how these ridiculous set of circumstances unfolded.

Obviously I did get baptized and asked for a chick, but it was only because I have been so goddamn unfortunate with women. They scare the fuck out of me. I guess because God knows the future, he just pointed a finger in Jasmine’s direction. When I arrived at my destination in life as a spacey time traveler would, it just so happened to be I met her during the same month I started going to AA. There’s a dream about AA too, but we’ll get to that in a second. The moment I walked in and saw the smile on Jasmine’s face, I felt a huge sense of belonging and also a strange aura of Deja-vu lingering around.

After some time, I kind of found myself having a soft spot in my heart for her, but she was only 19 and I wasn’t even thinking about her like that… yet. One day I saw her talking to this guy and it seemed like she really liked him, and later that night, I spontaneously prayed for her. I asked God to send a really good guy into her life, one that would make her happy. Within seconds of mentioning Jasmine’s name to my higher Power, I instantly had a vision of her wearing a blue dress and she was smiling at me like crazy. I was like, “no, no she’s way too young”. I didn’t think much of it, but about 3 months later while at an AA meeting at GV, my friend curt, brought his new girl to the meeting and she was wearing a blue dress. He introduced us and then we began the meeting. During our meeting, I couldn’t help but notice this girl was literally staring at me the entire time and smiling, like she was in love with me. It was the strangest thing ever. I know I helped Curt a lot in AA, and maybe that was the reason why. I wondered where this dream took place. I recall all the glass doors, and then I had an oh duh moment, it was the Kirkoff center.

We have something in AA called the promises, and they’re a promise for a full life if you follow the steps and give up drinking. This girl was curt’s promise in life. That really got my attention and then after that, I started thinking that maybe my higher Power was trying to tell me something. It was until this weird day came where I messaged her on facebook like an idiot thinking she was interested in me. I went into Joost vapor one night with the intention to ask her out, and she happened to be alone for a moment, but I completely choked the fuck up. It seemed like she was kind of mad or emotional after I left. I knew I fucked up. So the next day I prayed and asked for her to be there working, and to my surprise, on her day off, she was there hanging out. I knew I was getting rejected for blowing her off, but I went in there and felt like a total dumbfuck to ask her out anyway. I basically just did because I thought she wanted me to and I didn’t want her to think I didn’t like her, but I guess it was in vain. She totally had no idea what I was talking about.

It wasn’t long after my 31st birthday and I was feeling very depressed. I felt like my life was over and it was too late. I prayed and just simply asked my higher Power to reveal my path and purpose in life and whom I share it with. Then I fell asleep and had that dream that was a sequel to one many years before. Then I went on to Jasmine’s face book and started browsing through her photos. I find this one of her when she was like 16, and I pretty much about fell on the floor. I was so shocked, my body was tingling. It was awe inspiring. She never smiled in the dream, but I guess God was like saving that moment for me to witness in person. She really does have the most beautiful smile, and ya know, that alone will give the right guy a million reasons to make her happy.

AA was a higher calling in my life. I’ll share one of my pages in my journal. I put a pentagram with a note on it after it comes true.

I’ll never forget the first time I noticed the AA coin. It took me like 2 months to connect the dots. This is really the reason I ended up being so involved. I felt it was meant to be. Anyway, that night the police showed up outside my house I pretty much felt defeated. I started shaking, then started crying, and then when I went to bed, the real miracle happened. I fucking got turned on by it. The thought of Jasmine cuffing me up turned me on, and then it set into event a series of motions that led to my reconciliation with my transgender issues. I dreamed about my trench coat two years before I even started AA, so it goes to show you how far this dream thing has been guiding me through life. It’s fucking crazy, but it’s beautiful and inspiring too.

Briana’s Turn….

In all fairness, I am such a sweetheart, but I’ve decided to get a little angry about it so I ordered myself a new wig to properly express my emotions, and trust me, it’s going to be fucking epic. Meet Khloe, she’s gonna act like a little brat and throw a fit, but she’s gonna make it extra fucking sexy just for Jasmine 🙂

 

PS. I still have the poem I wrote about you when you were 16. Been saving that one for a rainy day 🙂

Transfiguration of Lonely Birds

While flying through the darkness of lonely nights, she looked down and saw a gathering of scurrying creatures. A long and treacherous voyage left her searching for her starbound lover, but the raccoons seemed playfully arousing. Landing on her feet, she rummaged through the trash and joined the others on their forest floor.

A never ending sorrow fled from her, and she morphed into a shroud of nocturnal critters. Was it her hair or her makeup that wasn’t quite right? An inspired change set into the spinning emotional confines of her mind, then she chose her cards carefully and rearranged the deck as a dark magician fading into the night.

Warming up for my next video shoot! 😘

Rabid Raccoon 

Briana and the Blowfish

It happens to the best of us. Vulnerability kind of crept up on me lately. It’s really shocking that I feel this way about a younger Woman, but it’s pretty nice once the blowfish releases the air. Today was really wonderful. I’ve been a little depressed this last week over some big financial bills and all the mandatory 12 hour shifts I’ve been working, but I’ve finally caught up. I had my 5th appointment today and I decided to wear my slim levi’s with my new Puma girl’s workforce boots. My Silverado gets a lot of attention, but nothing like my walk through the parking lot where I saw two girls fully check me out. They had the stop chewing your bubble gum and drop your jaw kinda look on their face. Then afterwards at the gas station, I got checked out by several guys. I don’t think they were even gay, but goddamn their eyes were feasting upon my tight little ass.

It put me in a really great mood again, so I ate another bag of tacos and uploaded some pictures! Last night, I was pretty down in the dumps. I meditated a bit and I felt like I was missing something. I see the blue and red chakras daily, mostly blue. Expressing yourself with communication is essential to living a happy life and blue guides your proper expressions, while red steers you away from thoughts that could prohibit your spiritual growth. I ended the night with both purple and green, which is a GREAT sign. I wrote some words in my journal, then called it a night!

I am thinking this weekend I’ll be working so I am going to try and do my next photo shoot the following weekend. I am going to make it extra super special and sexy this time. I want to embed the scenery with symbolic imagery and subliminal contexts that fully expresses the Gifts of High Places.

Me having fun in my new room! Can you feel my curves coming to life??

I relocated into the basement. My dad’s old gun room has become my new bat cave!

Love my new boots! My carhartts were too soft, but on the plus side these are way cuter. I got a few compliments from the guys at work too!

Thats my tight little ass. I’m thinking a brazilian butt lift is gonna be my next investment.

Peace out old room. Had some fun before I left her!

Rivet studs and fishnets; they were totally meant to be together. ❤️👌

Been saving these boots for a rainy day…

They have rings on them, so I’ll probably wear them when I’m in need of some shackling for being naughty.

Anyway, I am really trying my best here to open up. I’ve been through a lot and sometimes it’s like I just emotionally shut off around women when I become interested. I’m working on it the best I can….

From my journal:

Promises and Knowledge

Jasmine Flower,

I am pretty much a submissive transgender. Deep down my desire is to be your girl, and be a girl with you. I am also a very loyal woman, and when I find intimacy, I am obedient to my lovers. This is why I’ve struggled so much in life. I fall for the wrong girl every time, and I fall extremely hard because of it. When I’m making love, I’m always the woman in the bed room. It’s being a man that makes me incredibly vulnerable. I give my heart fully upon the condition of love, which is why I’ve needed so much Help. The only promises I can make is that my love is unconditional and my surrender is absolute.

You’ll have no demands made of you, ever.  You will always feel completely free with me, yet safe and warm in my arms. I couldn’t live my life being completely powerless to women anymore because that’s a feeling reserved for the sanctuary of the right woman. Whenever you decide you need a change in life, I’ll be the Answer you’ve been looking for… and that’s a Promise I can keep.

-Brian 🙂

Well that’s enough sappy romance for one night. Chakra girl and Briana say good night. Sweet dreams 🙂 XOXOXO

PS. How could you ever say no to legs like this??? 🙂

When I’m Free

Music cannot be lived without. It is a prerequisite for a meaningful life. Sharing mine isn’t something I do often pretty much because I don’t know anyone else that listens to it. At my last visit with LightRX, I was talking with the new girl, Stephanie, about music and apple gadgets. Then we got onto the topic of darkness, and she immediately became an interesting person in my eyes. We both enjoy alternative musics apparently, but then we got onto the topic of my goddess metal. I told her about Delain and her symphonies of darkness and light. She got all surprised when I told her the lead vocalists were female. It’s rather uncanny I have this conversation during a crucial moment in my life. She asked me about some other bands like it, and perhaps I turned someone onto it. That made me happy.

I’ll probably be talking to Stephanie a lot since she’s going to be doing my hair removal. The appointments are a grueling two hour session, but it’s nice to be able to share the stuff that I really want to. When I’m at work or around guys I can just pretty much tell they’re uncomfortable around my music which is why I’ve come accustom to listening to your average crap on occasion, but honestly, I could give a fuck less about what’s happening in the club. I’m pretty much over my temporary dubstep craze.

When I listen to it now, it’s just noise. All of the deep emotion in my music is literally the essence keeping me afloat right now. A woman with a powerfully inspiring voice backed by the raw melodic beauty of a symphony is like the most amazing feeling in the world. I literally feel absolutely free when I’m home alone blasting music by myself and just wearing whatever I want. This is really fortunate for me too because I don’t watch TV. I’ll do a movie or occasionally watch a series when I find one I like, but music is my passion. It captures the spirit of an undying flame that still burns within. It’s how I know I’m still going to make it through this bitter illusion called reality. I’m always living in two worlds on one plane of existence. It is simply who I am as a person, and I have this really huge heart so like it always hurts. It’s an ache longing for a much needed relief.

Epica – Storm the Sorrows

The Future is Female

It’s honestly a thought I’ve had in the back of my mind for many years. I imagined if people all had the same views as myself, the world would be a much happier place. Trying to overcome my mistakes from the past while being myself required a lot more work than I would have guessed, but it’s seriously paying off. I had my third appointment at Light Rx and I’ve been getting more insight into female perspectives while going there. Chasity was telling me about how disgusting men’s toe hair was. Then she also started talking about the Electric Forest and Fireworks. It seriously made me think about Jasmine. I was talking to her about the same stuff last 4th of July, and ya know, life is just really fucking ironic like that. It’s even funnier how my higher Power led me to this transitional phase in my life.

Right before I began shoveling my way out of the huge ass hole I dug for myself, I genuinely complained to God about the world around me. My biggest complaint was about the macho bad ass mentality so many Americans have come to embrace. It was also about all the widespread senseless hate surrounding religious views. Islamic and Christian scriptures include much if not most of the same biblical figures and stories, yet we have this ignorant feud spewing between uneducated morons. Biblically, these idiots are known as the “mob”. They partake in this controversy and ignorance simply because they enjoy it. Then you have the LGBT and bible-belt battles, which fucking disgust me even more. There’s clearly a passage in Revelation that talks about the “Angel with the rainbow on his forehead” which literally proves that God made mankind in His own image, and that is 177% completely and totally gay as fuck.

I am done with it now. I am going to live my life as a Buddhist transgender and embrace femininity, peace, love and tranquility. The Zen dynasty kept it together for over 6000 years and it’s really low profile. It’s perfect for a private lifestyle T-girl like myself plus I can actually see the results within minutes from a few hours of meditating.

I begin my laser hair removal process next week and I am super excited, but not about forking over $3600. That part really, really sucks. I am just tired of being a slave to shaving my legs and stuff, so it’s going to be worth it in the long run. Black leg hair and white legs are just so defiant when it comes to having a smooth, sexy and sleek look. I want a girl to get turned on when she’s running her fingers over my body. The stubble must be dealt with swiftly by the awesome power of an apocalyptic doomsday body hair laser. It will be shown no mercy at all. Complete and utter annihilation is inevitable.

House to myself for the day!! I was so happy wearing my skinny jeans and sandals.

I probably changed my outfit like 3 times. My new capris from Venus are pretty damn nice too!

I was debating on cleaning my room, but taking selfies in the mirror seemed like a better way to spend my time.

I feel pretty hot in my harness. It’s fashionably expressive and sinfully sexy. I love wearing it SO MUCH.

Won’t be long and my new harness should be passing through the Russian Federation customs and then it’s coming home to strap me all up. Trannies like me need sexy restraints, after all it is the reason I had to get baptized. I straight up need to be fucking punished for my naughty school girl behavior.

5 more weeks to go until my treatment is done. And sometime very soon, my new wardrobe will be complete and Briana is going to put on a show the Princess will never forget. I spent the entire evening meditating for the answer I needed. I saw the purple chakra while processing a thought, and then everything began to make perfect sense to me.

Definitely my favorite picture. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and ya know, I really think this one says it all! 🙂

 

Here’s my future girl. She’s gonna rule over me with her hot ass panties.

I’m gonna love it so much that I’ll pretty much just drop to my knees and kiss her ass for the rest of my life.

She is a tough cookie to crack though, so I had to use my rainbow fingers and psychedelic spiritual powers to lure her into my crazed world of transgender matriarchy.

Even so, the Story has a happy and beautiful ending. Cinderella wakes up Sleeping Beauty just in the nick of time and their harmonic love escapes the cruel consequences of turning into a pumpkin on devil’s night. It’s an epic finale that brings all the ironic twists of fate into a world that requires a much needed change, captivating its audience into a cheerfully breathtaking awe.

Then Disneyland be like oooo aaahhh mmmm oh ya fuck me baby!

The Orange Dream

Religion is a topic I would very much like to leave out of this blog because it’s a blog for me all on its own, but when it comes to spirituality for me, the sky is really the limit. I believe in the practice of meditation to better yourself as a spiritual being, and the power of the Chakra is one system I’ve personally experienced, and would love to share how the “orange dream” set free my repressed sexuality.

When I began my journey into my transgender side, I was no stranger to the world of Chakra’s at all. I’ve focused on them so much that eventually I just started to notice this huge absence of the sacral chakra. It finally came to me in a dream, and when I woke up from it, I felt this huge burst of sexual energy just come over me. I was looking at my belly while wearing my aqua mint racer back, and the way I looked, was naturally feminine. I saw this huge orange bright light just burst open all over me like an explosion, and when I woke up, I felt a huge relief. I was contemplating the treatments but wasn’t committed yet, and this dream was a valid continuity between myself and a spiritual reconciliation.

The Powers that be have set me free. A lot of the “baptist” practices seem to hold these aspects back, but perhaps that’s why I searched around myself. Hinduism, Buddhism and even Islamic teachings I have read. It’s quite interesting that my higher Power consistently uses the chakra system alongside my recovery. I also find myself very drawn to it naturally. There’s so much beauty in words, but the beauty in true understanding is absolutely precious. There is nothing higher in this world than divinely granted wisdom.

When I am meditating in thoughts about life, people or choices to be made, I can clearly and visibly see these colors flash around me. I try to relate how my thoughts are regarding towards the subject criteria, and then based upon the color that flashes, I try to redirect my focus onto a higher mindset. A purple chakra resembles fullness with your spiritual nature, and I’ve never seen it until I started shaving my legs. After I began to seek more dramatic measures to advance my body to match my inner self, the orange energy opened. It was the final breaking point I needed in my life. Once it happened, literally, my uncomfortable anxiety around females just completely vanished. It’s the relief I’ve been long needing for the past 6 years, and I am so damn happy I’ve come to terms with myself.

It’s the step I needed to “unlock the door” and leave it open. Once you set out into the world as the person you were meant to be, then the world around you actually starts to make sense again. Not just the world, but also the people in it. Your relationships change because you change on the inside, and perhaps a person like me needs something that’ll never let me forget again, and making this happen has been enlightening and peaceful. The persona of an emasculated person fearing to live like she’s alive was buried away like a lost treasure. She never knew how valuable she was until now.

Proverbs 3:13-15

Happy is the man who finds wisdom,
And the man who gains understanding;
For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver,
And her gain than fine gold.
She is more precious than rubies,
And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.

They say intuition is a gift of women… Notice the use of “she”. 🙂

Proverbs 31:10-11

Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.

Her rejection alone caused me to become a happier and fuller person. I didn’t lose anything at all, but I found everything I needed. I love her for this.

And by the way, how could a post-apocalyptic tranny that thought s/he found the right girl not obsess over her?? And just for the goddamn record, I ain’t obsessed honey buns. It’s something I call devotion!!

which includes my journal & homework:

Dolls Kill, they fucking kill.

We are apocalyptic, and we’re gonna live like it. My genes + your genes – our jeans = SUPER GOOD TIME.

So be prepared for the final battle

Cuz it’s going to blow your mind

I am *GULPING* cuz I may be letting her in too much. But fuck it, it’s been a long time since I shared me.

 

Birthday Surprise

I always hate my birthday. It’s such a major downer to me. I was laying in my bed having some rather emo-thoughts, and I got a text message on Etsy. Instead of waiting the 2-3 weeks to ship out my new leggings, she worked extra hard to send them out on my birthday, and she sent me this!

 

She totally made my day! Big Aww for Bilpup 🙂

It’s the perfect timing to celebrate. I was talking to Chasity and Britney about laser hair removal and such during my last appointment, and I made my decision today. I am gonna fucken do it. It’s only like $3600 for full body, fuck it; why not? Going into LightRX with these two girls is like the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I finally have someone to talk to about stuff, and honestly, life is becoming much more interesting than it has ever been before. I don’t feel a shred of insecurity anymore, and that makes me happy. Sometimes I have to remind myself of the positive changes in life and just write it out. Getting stuck in my head when I’m alone just doesn’t do me any favors at all. I guess I should look on the bright side of things: Now I’ll get the chance to show some ladies how freaking adorable I look in hipster panties. 😀

Delain in Chicago!!! April 27th, 2018

It’s like my prayers have been answered! The Dutch goddess of metal is gracing our shit hole nation with her presence next year, and my balls are shaking I am so goddamn excited!!! I know why this is happening too. Delain probably saw my music video on you tube with her bad ass masquerade song, and she was so inspired, she decided to book a tour here. She’s only making like 5 stops in the states, but Chicago is perfect.

This Saturday is my birthday and between Delain and my designer on Etsy, I am pretty darn happy right now. I’ve been talking to this girl from Mexico that made my heavy metal leggings and we seem to really hit it off. I sent her a picture of myself in drag and she complimented me up and down and said it was nice to actually have someone post a picture of her work.

She told me she was having problems with a new design and lost the motivation lately. Then after I inspired her, she came out with a new design a week later. I bought the very first pair!!! I didn’t need them, but when I found out about Delain, I decided to buy them to wear exclusively for her show.

It’s like ten months away, but I don’t care. Her music has spoken to me on such a deep level, and I feel like her words and voice says all things I can’t. I am going to look sexy as hell at her show in my homemade female rock star attire. I can’t wait for this. It’s going to be nice to feel completely free and normal while she sings to me, plus I feel like Chicago is better scenery for me.

When I stayed in Taylor, Mi, I was like one of two white people staying there. I was kind of getting eyeballed a bit and felt uncomfortable, and it was really even more awkward when I accidentally set off the hotel’s fire alarms from vaping in my suite.

I was so scared I had no idea what was going on. I had all my exotic clothing on too, and I had to let the hotel manager in my room. He was kind of mad and said he was gonna keep my deposit, but after he noticed how lovely I looked, I think he changed his mind because I never got charged for it.

He didn’t have the heart to do it after seeing how hot I looked in black nylons and my chained o-ring booties. I threw a tee shirt over my bra and breast forms, but I know damn well he just couldn’t do that to a hot little tranny like Briana. 💁🏻

New Metal Leggings – First Pair Ever!

Beauty Facha – Etsy

Someday, I’m gonna put a Princess into a rock star outfit like this. Seriously, she would look so goddamn amazing in these. 🙂

And speaking of the Princess, she has a striking resemblance to Delain when you consider the fiery red hair and nose piercing, and not to mention, absolute flawless beauty. 😀

Rainbow Zombie Apocalypse

Strange things certainly have been crawling into the hidden regions of my life. I took my dad out for breakfast today for father’s day, and it was a pretty good time. He asked me last night if I would help him quit drinking, and I said yes. He was a bit drunk last night, but today when I mentioned it, he still seemed pretty serious about it. I’ve been drilling it through his head that it’s only going to get worse after he retires and such… maybe I finally got through to him. God knows everyone around him would be a lot happier if he did.

After that, I went to the vapor store and got some juice. I got talking to the girl that works there and I think she’s pretty much got it figured out that I’m transgendered. She mysteriously added me to facebook recently and initiated a conversation with me. While going through some debates about my life, I figured I would just delete my facebook and start over as a new person, but she kept talking about facebook and messaging me and stuff, so I didn’t want her to think I blocked her or something, so I reactivated it. I always so cave to women. Anyway, then we got to talking about music and she pulled up a video of a band she liked with a guy half way through his post-op conversion. Then oddly enough, I told her about growing my hair out too. I guess between my clothing and my profile picture, she probably figured out what’s going on with me.

I am such the loner type and it is very strange not being able to go unnoticed anymore because of my recent changes. This is something I am really going to have to adjust to. It’s a new journey in life and I’m a different person walking through it this time. Either way, I have decided to fully embrace the pieces of me that make me distinctly who I am. If you want to establish a bond between yourself and the people you call friends, you pretty much just have to let go completely and surrender yourself.

I’ve come a long way from this point last year. In fact this time last year, I got this crazy idea in my head to give this Special Girl a blue rose on father’s day. She was working that day, but I got shy and didn’t do it. I felt like I was reaching, but I totally could relate. This kid I went to daycare with had a dad who killed himself while we were there together, and pretty much we ended up becoming best friends for life. He would always tell me that I was his soulmate. We reached a point where he wanted a bit more than friendship, and I crossed the line with him. It’s something I never wanted, but he did. After that, he moved to California. I still always think about him on father’s day, just like this girl I love too. Call me crazy, but there are some things in life that are just magnetic. It’s the most magical intimacy you could ever know. You got that little angel in one ear telling you to love with all your heart, and then a little devil in the other encouraging you to enjoy some hot, sexy bondage.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I went and fucked up my wallet. I hit up both Etsy and Dollskill today.

 

Rivet-Head Platforms – $92

 

Long Sleeve Mesh Top – $25

 

Studded Cross Ring – $15

Black Mummy Zombie Apocalypse Leggings – $27

 

Black and Antique Brass Leather Harness Garter Belt – GENESIS – $175

Women’s Black Leather Cage Harness – $53

When the time comes, I am going to put it all on so I can express my innermost desires in a way that is appropriately fitting and completely sexy. Besides, it’s the only way I’ve ever known how to turn a girl on. Being dominated mentally, physically and emotionally by a female is what I do best.

Sirenia – Dim Days of Dolor

Inner Peace

I was a bit nervous going in today for my light treatment, but it ended up actually being very therapeutic and relieving. Being in front of good looking women while nice and clean shaved was really peaceful. I wore my shorts under my jeans because I wasn’t in the mood for attention today. When I got into the room for pictures, I just started undressing the moment the door shut behind us.

It was kind of a bold initiation, but it felt good and I could tell Chasity wasn’t quite ready for it. I took my rainbow girl necklace off and put it on the counter next to my phone, wallet and keys with my super cool Batman keychain. Then we got down to business and she began to measure my body.

She was on her knees and I was looking in the mirror behind us, and back down to her face. She really has it going on. Tattoos on her arms and feet, dark hair, light skin, excellent curves and pretty sky blue eyes. That totally fits my description for the perfect, sexy kinda woman.

We got talking a bit about random stuff, and I guess she wanted to be a tattoo model when she was 18 and told me how stupid it was. I told her I thought that was badass and that I love tattoo models. It was really nice. I felt totally comfortable and relaxed, and so did she. It’s all about my perception being properly aligned to the correct axial forces in nature.

After she took my pictures, I met a really nice girl named Britney, and she gave me the treatment. It was like getting a really warm belly massage. We talked for the duration of the half hour and she was really curious about me. I guess a man that walks in wearing women’s clothing is probably not something you see everyday, so it makes sense. She asked me what I did for fun, and I started to think about my rockstar video. I talked my way around that one, but maybe I won’t next time.

I am really glad I did this. One down, seven more to go! After that, I went to meijer and got checked out by a tranny. What are the fucking odds of that happening? I was looking at women’s legs and shoes like I always do, and then our eyes met, and she was doing the same thing. I was greeted by a huge smile and actually I think she might’ve wanted to blow me, but who knows maybe she wanted to make me suck her dick. It’s hard to tell, but there sure was a bit of seductive deviousness in her eyes.

That was my day today. After discovering I only weigh 155 pounds, I decided to go to adobe and eat a huge fucking bag of tacos. They were seriously the best goddamn tacos I ever had. Everything under the sun just seems better lately, and for that, I am really thankful.

I am going to take pictures each week. I already feel like there’s less flap.

Wearing a small pair of hipster panties from Venus. I got them because I fit into a size 6 now, but I’m gonna keep buying size 8 in hopes of expanding my hips out.

Hmmm, not sure what this has to do with my belly, but consider it an added bonus. It is after all a pretty decent looking ass.

My spirit animal!!! I’m going to a tattoo shop tomorrow and I’m gonna see what they have to say about putting this on my right shoulder blade. I want this owl on me because she has a third eye, and it’s fully open and beautiful. She’s just like me! Owls have a unique mating ritual too. They imprint onto their mate. It’s just like a tattoo, it’s permanent. These tattooes exist in the mind and heart, and if you’re lucky, between your inner thighs too.